Divorces today don’t always have to result in a drawn out court battle. Instead, many people opt to pursue an alternative means of coming up with the divorce settlement. One of these is mediation. There are many cases in which this might be the best idea since it is usually faster and less expensive, and it enables both parties to have a say in what happens.
Some cases aren’t really appropriate for mediation. Knowing whether your case is appropriate or not can help you to avoid wasting time and money on something that isn’t going to work. If any of these apply to you, heading to court might be the best option.
Abusive or narcissistic ex
If your ex is abusive or narcissistic, there might not be a point in mediation at all. They are highly unlikely to be willing to negotiate through anything. If they can’t have it their way, they are going to make everyone miserable and ensure that nobody gets anything they want.
It can be hard to battle against an abusive or narcissistic person. If you aren’t fully prepared, emotionally and mentally, you might find the process daunting. You have to be sure that they don’t run all over you or manipulate you during the mediation.
Grudges are kept in place
Part of mediation is being able to put aside the hurt of the marriage so that you can focus on the future. You can’t try to hold the past against your ex by hurting them in the property division part of the divorce. You also have to think about what grudges will do to your future. There is a chance that you can actually hurt yourself if the decisions you make during mediation are based on what will make life the most difficult for your ex. If you can’t let go of the problems that lead to the divorce, you might not be able to work through the mediation.
Not separating issues
Each aspect of divorce mediation must be handled separately. You can’t base child custody decisions on what happens with property division. If you are unable to keep these matters fully separated, you will likely have to go through a trial.
Having to handle your divorce through a trial isn’t necessarily a bad thing. You will need to ensure that you prepare for the proceedings. This can take time, so don’t try to wait until the last minute. You don’t have to present a case in a manner that seems rushed.
