Working out the specifics of a child custody relationship can be rather challenging, especially in the immediate period after the marriage ends. You have to ensure that you are emotionally ready to handle this process. Some parents might find that this is a difficult task because the wounds from the separation are still so fresh.
You might see divorced parents in the media or online who have an amazing relationship. They seem to thrive on working together for the benefit of the children. What you don’t see is the time and effort it may have taken to get to that point.
Coping with the emotional turmoil
The emotions that you feel because of the split and divorce will vary greatly. The pain will take time to heal, but you might find that having to deal with your ex often keeps those wounds fresh and makes it hard to deal with everything going on. A parenting plan that is based on the parallel style might be beneficial here. As time progresses and your emotions begin to heal, you can work with your ex to move toward the co-parenting style you see more in the media.
Set the standards in writing
Your parenting plan is the cornerstone of the arrangement. If you are using the parallel parenting style, you won’t have the close contact with your ex that comes with co-parenting. Instead, you will need a comprehensive parenting plan that clearly outlines each aspect of the arrangement. Consulting the document is your first step when something comes up since it should contain everything you need to know. This gives you the space from your ex that might enable your wounds to heal.
Moving forward
Moving on after the divorce is something that many people assume they are ready for. However, you may find that actually doing it is difficult. Make sure that you take things slowly when possible. Don’t move into a new relationship right away. Try not to make major decisions, such as moving to a new city, during the time immediately following the divorce. Take the time for self-care so that you are able to work toward your personal goals.
It is important to have a clear plan for parenting. If you are going to start out parallel parenting and then move toward co-parenting, make sure that you set this up so you know what to expect in the future.
